A recent study reveals a disparity between the aspirations of modern fathers and the realities of their lived experiences regarding family life and childcare. The research, conducted by the Pronova BKK health insurance company and reported across publications within the Funke Mediengruppe, surveyed 2,000 parents – both mothers and fathers aged 18 and over – with at least one child under the age of 16.
The findings indicate that a significant majority of fathers express a desire to be actively involved in their children’s lives. 55% stated they want to spend a considerable amount of time with their children, while 51% see themselves as a “friend and protector” to their offspring. Further, half of the fathers surveyed believe shared responsibility extends to household chores, nearly as many (49%) want to participate in educational decisions and 48% prioritize providing financially for their families.
However, the study highlights a gap between these ideals and actual practice. Only 46% of fathers reported “actually” spending a lot of time with their children. Nighttime childcare duties, such as changing diapers – an activity 42% aspire to – are currently carried out by 36% of fathers. Simultaneously, 53% of fathers are employed full-time, a commitment that aligns with their self-perception of a modern father for only 36%.
Mothers, the study suggests, hold even more ambitious expectations for themselves. 70% want to spend ample time with their children and two-thirds wish to stay home when a child is sick. Fathers demonstrate comparatively lower expectations of mothers in these areas, with 58% placing importance on a mother’s availability.
Child psychologist Nina Grimm, commenting on the results, notes that mothers’ expectations are largely shaped by personal, often heightened, standards rather than by what fathers anticipate. “Mothers should understand that partners will approach things differently-but not necessarily worse” Grimm explained, adding that fathers can be equally competent in caregiving roles, they often simply lack the same level of practice.
The survey also revealed a tendency for fathers to underestimate the contributions of their partners in daily life. Roughly half of fathers acknowledge their partner’s involvement in household chores, while two-thirds of mothers report performing them. Similarly, 67% of mothers stay home when a child is ill, but this is only observed by 51% of fathers.